Most of the Time

Desire spreads her armsWaits there for a day She'll forgive a frownThere's nothing you can sayNothing will turn her awayShe isn't leaving townA morphed sun-lit maskShe's smiling underneathA haunting gravityShe'll never let you sleepIt'll tug insid...

Desire spreads her arms
Waits there for a day 
She’ll forgive a frown
There’s nothing you can say
Nothing will turn her away
She isn’t leaving town

A morphed sun-lit mask
She’s smiling underneath
A haunting gravity
She’ll never let you sleep
It’ll tug inside, hold deep
There’s nothing in there for me

I wasn’t in the mood for this.
“Stop playing that song Nuff”.
This week just didn’t seem to end. Stop-motion madness. I think Nuff could tell – although he’d been slipping in and out of the room, making shady phone calls. On my phone, even. I didn’t stop him.

“Leave unto Nuff what Nuff would have you leave behind.”

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you behind all that self-hating…”

“That was uncalled for, man. You know that…”

“That you’re really busy? That your weeks are bordering on the absurd? Yeah, who brought all that down on you?”

“Yeah shut up Nuff. I’ve had enough of…”

“No. I’ve had enough. Put that laptop away. We’ve made plans”.
“Fantastic, you always do. But I’m not…”

Six minutes later, we were on the roof of a mid-rise residential building.

“What are we doing here man? Why is that door even unlocked in the first place?”

“Fire regulations. That flight of stairs is the only way in. Therefore, it’s the only fire escape; fire escapes can’t be locked. They wouldn’t be very good at being fire escapes then.”

Made sense. People like Nuff are always on rooftops anyway.

“We wouldn’t want to lose people like you to silly fires, would we?”

“What would you do without me here? Risk frost-bite on your knuckles while you’re cycling a mile back home at 1 am after spending seven hours in the library doing…”

“Just… you know what, man? That’s about enough.”

“I know, I know. Here.”

“I’m not in the mood. Really, it’s been a horrible week, I’m tired and this is difficult enough to handle without…”

Three minutes later, I was half a sports-bottle down through a pale-green liquid that Nuff had brought with him.

“Smells like…”


“And the taste – man, it tastes like…”


He was smiling to himself again.

“Remember that Iranian guy I played football with? He’s married, and his wife makes this at home”.

“That’s absurd. If this has what I think it does in it, it isn’t even safe to…”

“She’s a PhD in Pharmaceutical Chemistry, with a lot of time on her hands. And the cactus grows in the desert. You put all of that together, and you get…”

“You get messed up, that’s what you get!”

We were laughing really loudly, and on a roof. This wasn’t even funny, but that didn’t stop us. Not when Nuff was around.

I don’t remember much after that, except I remember my phone ringing. Nuff picked it up – he’d seen where I was and decided to intervene.

“Hello? You want whom? He’s gone away, I think. Let me check…
Yeah, he’s not here.”

“Where is he now? I couldn’t tell for certain, really. No, he’s definitely not here though.”

“A message? No man, I don’t think I can get to him right now.”

“Who am I?”

He smiled again. I hadn’t seem him smile like that for a long time.

“Just a friend, maybe. Most of the time, at least.”

“Sorry I couldn’t help… Bye.”

“Thanks, Nuff. I owe you one.”

“Sure. Now, listen to this. This music is what dreams would sound like if they orgasmed…”

Nuff said: “Show me a happy man, and I’ll give you something to laugh at.”